Experienced Master Baiter

I was filling out a questioner online the other day with really weird sex questions

I thought it was for a fishing trip vacation but it was really for a job

This job was for a master baiter but I did understand clearly.

So then I get this call on the phone a couple hours later  http://www.azgfd.gov/h_f/fishing_glossary.shtml

HELLO

Aaa is this Dave? I says yes

Did you fill out an application for fishing

I says... I sure did… So he says great

It says here that you’re a master baiter over 20 year’s experience

I said it that gonna be a problem

He said no that’s great… have you ever caught crabs

I said there was this time in Seattle… AND hell yeah

 I got a boatload of them

Great he says you know any hookers and bring your own boner

You know you can hang your rod out the back

And get yourself a Hog or a Lunker anytime

I scratched my head

Really… I says

I have experience trolling the shark club for Hogs

But what the heck is a Lunker is that like a Cougar

Cause them bitches never seem to like me

Usually they like the young studs

So then he says Ahhh I meant I wanted you to be the

Master baiter on my crab boat.

So I thought for a moment and said

Gee I said I don’t really think I could do something like that in public

But thanks for the offer… and hung up.

Clog You Motherfucker

My grandfather owned a paint store and it closed in 1965 or so he changed to a music store I guess it was there dream to have a music store. Anyways… a few years later he gave my mother 2 cases of Wooden Yard Sticks as it was her favorite choice of weapon in the discipline of her children.

 Grandpa no longer needed them and had a very sick smile on his face the day he offered them to my mother. My mother beat the crap out of us with them for years. My father was more a Black leather belt kind of guy so he never used them. At first it was bam bam bam… the lumber was flying My 2 brothers and I were up to 3 and 4 broken over our heads in just a few months.

  About 2 ½ years later or so my mothers style of discipline would be too slam you into the boards and you would get 2 minuets of high sticking…Until Snap Ahhhhhh… The stick would be Broken over your head. Well this time I knew it was the last Stick. The final joust it was all over. Soon the last yard stick would soon be broken and we would be free of the yard stick curse!!! Thanks Grandpa... you prick

Well she screamed and yelled and got the last stick out. Previously in the week we had teased her about it being the last stick and she did not comment she was frightfully silent.

 She raised the stick and in one angry slam over top of my head it broke. A gleeful smile arose on my face. Sure the stick hurt but this was the end of an era!!! Thor’s Axe, Richard’s Excalibur It was all over!!!!

Well it was 1972 and my recently liberated mother reached down to the floor picking up one of her clogs.

 She let me have it across the side of my head wiping the smile off my face and giving me a whole new respect for trendy footwear.